So great, we had to post it again. Thanks, Jimbo, Beck’s Official Poet Laureate!
By Jim B.
Oh, great mash up of bovine and swine
Tossed greasily on a crusty roll with more satisfaction than 1,000 feasts
But unbeknownst to the tongues of those Muslim, & Hindu, & Vegan, & Jew…
As your name may suggest, you are the very depiction of carnage (in the flesh)
Just as wearily eyes are incapable of looking away, so are the mouths of men of turning away
As they yearn hungrily for your sloppy, beefy, cheesy goodness
Your creamy mayonnaise runs deep, deep within your warm center of salami and fried onions
And it is an obtainable spoil for even Scrawny Arms Rob Lowe to enjoy with messy dignity
For it is not without great condiments that any man should be laid to rest
Deliciousness is often fleeting
But yours is not, and it sends quivers down the spines of all with hearty appetites
Be it Adam Richmond, or Kobayashi, or Scooby Doo
The best description of its flavor: DIVINE
The best description of your affliction: INTOXICATING
And alas, the best description of your status post sandwich: COMATOSE
P.S. The Gator Gumbo rocks as well. It’s a spicy, smoky bowl of reptilian joy.